Gateway to myself: A poem

This is another poem from my adolescence.

I dwelt alone, in misery,
A shroud of hate lay over all.
Too alone, and far too fearful,
To let a friend within my wall.

A castle tall and strong I built
And locked myself within its walls.
With my ego bruised and hurting
From a slew too many falls.

I called myself a better person
Than anyone that I could see
But, deep within, I knew me lying
For deep within myself was me.

With the help of years and teachers
(Many of each, I am afraid)
I began to see that I
Could see my castle be unmade.

My first reaction, dim and fearful
Was to build walls higher still.
But I knew myself unhappy
And, somehow, I knew my own will.

Those walls remain, they’ll never vanish
Too much pain remains in me
Soon though, they will be made smaller
And let in a friend, or thee.

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